Having conversations about life over some tea with my bestfriend last night really opened up my eyes.
Opened up my eyes in ways that i have come such a long way. As to the girl i was a couple years ago. I have found talking about our goals in life or where do we see ourselves in the next couple of years so fascinating. I wouldn’t want to fast forward time and be there already. I want to know what kind of struggles I’m going to encounter. Or who is going to be on this journey with me and who isn’t. My schedule is about to get really busy. I feel the emotional stress already. It’s a scary thought about what i’m about to take on but i need to remind myself it will all be worth it in the end. Life really is a beautiful thing. Especially with the love and support that i have. It makes me want to work and achieve what i have planned for myself that much more. I have nothing stopping me. No regulations. No limits. So, why not take the chance now and just give it my all.
Finding love is probably the last thing on my list right now. It’s always nice to have someone but for anything serious, it’s just not for me. I met a guy this past weekend that is currently married. He has been married for about almost 3 years now. He’s in the process of getting a divorce at the age of 30. It really is a scary thought. To think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone. 3 years later things just don’t work out. I can’t even imagine what kind of emotions they are both going through. Being in love with someone or even finding love has scared me. Even falling for someone at the slightest is a scary feeling for me. I just don’t want to fall and then one day that person won’t be there to catch me anymore. I know i shouldn’t be thinking like that but my past relationships has really put me in a perspective of what i want in a person and what a relationship should be like. Don’t get me wrong. Love is also such a beautiful thing when it is found and when it is with the right person.
I get asked this questions a lot. ” Now that you have been single for some time now. Do you look back at your relationship with your ex and ask yourself that you’re better off?” My answer to that question is. Everything happens for a reason. There are reasons why we both didn’t work out for each other. In that time did i think we were perfect for each other? Yes, i did. He has one of the biggest hearts. He was someone that always took care of me so i wouldn’t have to stress. I wanted us to grow together. Build an empire that i always imagined and we would make it to the top together. What i didn’t realize was that he was so busy providing for the both of us that it was hard for him to start doing things for himself. With that said, I couldn’t be more happy that he is finally doing things for himself. Getting himself back into school at the age of 28. It really just shows that it’s never too late to do exactly what you want to do. Now, he has met a girl that has a lot going on for her. I’m sure she helps him in ways that i couldn’t but i don’t hate on that. I am extremely happy for him. So, do i think I’m better off. No, because at the time, He was everything i wanted and more. I’m now focusing on myself. Something that time will never wait for you on. I’m enjoying it one day at a time. I really can’t be more blessed. You live and you learn. Some things in life are meant to stay and some aren’t. I’m learning to adapt to change. Grow as a person. Open to learn new things. Not dwell so much on small things. We really just have to take life for what it is sometimes and always be positive.