To love and to be loved is probably one of the best gifts in life. Because it’s something that comes from the heart and money can’t buy.

To love and to be loved is probably one of the best gifts in life. Because it’s something that comes from the heart and money can’t buy.

6am thoughts.

I woke up from a dream that felt so real. I haven’t been able to go back to bed. Late night thinking is the worst…

It frightens me… I think about my future a lot. Setting goals for myself and simply where i want to see myself in the near future. I have decided that after i get my bachelors in science I want to get my masters and become a nurse practitioner. It’s only 2 more years of school after I’m done. So, i said why not? I kind of just told myself why stop at the bare minimum and not just go all in. Cross fingers i get into the program. If so, i will be in more debt than ever but i know it will be worth it in the end.

As for my love life, there really isn’t one (haha) I haven’t been single for this long in awhile. Heck, i drunk call (which is once in a blue moon) the last guy i was talking to just because i have no one to text. It really saddens me. If you know me, I’m a relationship type of girl. I always need the company of another person. Coming home to no one on a long day at work/school makes me feel some type of way sometimes. I just haven’t crossed path with anyone that has been worth my time. I know, that sounds kind of harsh. I mean, even to go on dates with. I haven’t found someone that interest me enough to do so. I was talking to my aunt about all of this. I was telling her i’m scared that i’m not going to find love or i won’t be able to love someone the way i loved him. She used my dad as an example. He would have done anything for my biological mother. It took him years to find a new woman that can make him happy. Even then, my aunt doesn’t think he’s 100% happy. I don’t want to be like that. Settling because i feel like i have to. I rather be single for the rest of my life. At least i would be somewhat happy, right? Is it weird that i look at my future and i don’t see myself with anyone for awhile. By the time i’m done with my masters and all of that i will be almost 30. What i want most in life are kids of my own but the thought of knowing i may or may not be able to. Seriously, it devastates me…

Oh life, the way you play out sometimes. I just don’t know. I guess it’s just telling me to focus more on myself and my career goals and that i shouldn’t be thinking about finding someone right now. I don’t need someone but the thought of someone there is always nice…

It’s the simple things that I miss most about you. Your friendship is one of them.

It’s the simple things that I miss most about you. Your friendship is one of them.

These past 5 months has really tested me as a person. What I was able to handle. What kind of emotions life wanted me to go through. I seriously feel like I went through it all. What I have learned is that you always just have to put a smile on and be happy. Even when you aren’t. In the end, things will fall together. When you feel like giving up, know that it will be worth it in the end. When you feel lost and heartbroken. Know that time heals it all. It’s okay to mope. It’s okay to be sad but you have to pick yourself up and move forward sooner or later. Life is too short to hold grudges. Or to be angry with anyone. There are better things you can invest your time and effort in. Just be happy. Because in the end, that’s what you’re going to have to learn how to be. Even if that means being happy by yourself. You have to be willing to grow and know you made the best decisions for yourself. If not, you’re just going to be stuck at the same place. Live your life to the fullest and never give up on hope.

These past 5 months has really tested me as a person. What I was able to handle. What kind of emotions life wanted me to go through. I seriously feel like I went through it all. What I have learned is that you always just have to put a smile on and be happy. Even when you aren’t. In the end, things will fall together. When you feel like giving up, know that it will be worth it in the end. When you feel lost and heartbroken. Know that time heals it all. It’s okay to mope. It’s okay to be sad but you have to pick yourself up and move forward sooner or later. Life is too short to hold grudges. Or to be angry with anyone. There are better things you can invest your time and effort in. Just be happy. Because in the end, that’s what you’re going to have to learn how to be. Even if that means being happy by yourself. You have to be willing to grow and know you made the best decisions for yourself. If not, you’re just going to be stuck at the same place. Live your life to the fullest and never give up on hope.

Because wanting you back in my life is out of the question. This is my heart telling me to finally move on. For once, I feel okay doing it…

Because wanting you back in my life is out of the question. This is my heart telling me to finally move on. For once, I feel okay doing it…

"I don’t always have the answers or understand why things fall the way they do, but I’m lucky to have this life and get to witness miracles."
- (via kushandwizdom)
Because there are times where I feel like giving up but I get reminded how blessed I am to have such an amazing support system.

Because there are times where I feel like giving up but I get reminded how blessed I am to have such an amazing support system.

When I’m not in work out clothes , scrubs or a boiling crab shirt. I try to look presentable sometimes when I’m out and about. Haven’t had a night off in a really long time. Even though it ended at 12am it was much needed. 

-outfit of the night.

When I’m not in work out clothes , scrubs or a boiling crab shirt. I try to look presentable sometimes when I’m out and about. Haven’t had a night off in a really long time. Even though it ended at 12am it was much needed.

-outfit of the night.

She’s one of the few that keeps me sane. With both our busy schedules it’s hard to find time for each other. When we do, catching up and just being completely not normal with her is the best feeling.

She’s one of the few that keeps me sane. With both our busy schedules it’s hard to find time for each other. When we do, catching up and just being completely not normal with her is the best feeling.

Not really third wheeling when I’m enjoying the company of my corn…. Me, myself and Mexican corn. That’s all I need in life. True story. (Hahaha)

Not really third wheeling when I’m enjoying the company of my corn…. Me, myself and Mexican corn. That’s all I need in life. True story. (Hahaha)

2 for me…. I don’t like to share. Only when it comes to my corn. Father’s kernel is the best!

2 for me…. I don’t like to share. Only when it comes to my corn. Father’s kernel is the best!